Social Experiment

“You know people get up everyday, tell themselves something's gonna change their lives. They never do. I'm gonna change mine. Why don't you do it with me?” – Doug MacRay, The Town

Typically I end every post with a quote but this time I thought I’d start things off with one.  Today Santa decided to give the Northeast a nice belated Christmas gift so I am pretty much snowed in, which has given me plenty of time to catch up on my movies.  This afternoon I watched The Town and if you have never seen it, I completely recommend it.

Regardless of the fact that the movie was worth watching, the above quote stood out to me.  I have been on this whole change kick for a while now and I think it’s a good thing.  I’ve really focused in on what I want and am committed to putting forth my best effort to achieve my goals.  Call it a social experiment of sorts.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had several people tell me how much they have enjoyed my blog or that they’ve related to it but recently, I’ve been made very aware of the opposite opinion.  It’s some of the people closest to me that think I’ve completely lost my mind.  I know I over analyze everything and I can make shopping for groceries more dramatic that it has to be but I get to conclusions in my own way.  I think we all have to do that.

This week I intend to pretty much lay out my game plan for this “social experiment” of mine and really give you the insight into what I’m trying to accomplish.  I know some people are thinking I’m off my meds or crazy or something but honestly I am just documenting my road to figuring out what comes next for me. 

I think it is easy for someone who is not at this stage of their life to say that figuring everything out is effortless but for someone going through a change, it’s not so simple.  They say the first step to dealing with an addiction is admitting that you have a problem, which is exactly what I’m doing.  I’m admitting that I have an issue and I’m figuring out where to go from that admission.  I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life and the goal of all this is to change that and in turn be happy at that point no matter where that is.  I am fully aware that there are things I can control and things that I can’t but for the past few years I’ve been so concerned with the things I can’t that I’ve neglected working on the things I can.  It’s time to realign my priorities. 

Basically, that’s all I’m doing.  Figuring out what I want and deciding which of those things I can make happen.  I know that I can’t make myself fall in love and live happily ever after but I can do something about my desire to see the world or change my current situation.  Hopefully by changing the things I can, those that I can’t will fall into place.  They say life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans and maybe that is just what I’m trying to do.

So with only a few days left in 2010, I plan to let you all in on what my little social project is all about.  I hope that it will provide clarity to anyone who wants to know what this whole journey is meant to do and to the cynics out there, it doesn’t matter what you think.  I am not concerned about those who question my methods.  I am only concerned with one opinion and that is my own.  I didn’t start this for anyone but me and I’m not going to let it be impacted by anyone either.  I am not off my meds and I’m not ready for the padded room anytime soon.  There is no need to worry about me.  I will be better than fine.  I will be great.  Hopefully you will get on board, buckle up and just enjoy the ride with me.