So yesterday was pretty much Dramafest 2010 in my life. If you checked out my last post you know I was struggling to find the courage to make a big decision. Well, after wrestling with what to do, I decided I really did know what I had to do all along, even if parts of me didn’t want to admit it.
Basically, I have had a long and complicated relationship with someone for 10 years and yesterday I chose the active route, laid it all on the line and said everything I wanted to say for the last decade. This relationship has been very romance novelesque over the years and recently we had reopened the book and penned the final chapter. However, I didn’t realize that would be the end of our story until yesterday when I started writing the email that would no doubt go down as the epilogue of our tale. It wasn’t easy but as wrote, I realized that I was going to lose. I was going to lose someone very special to me but when I pressed send, I knew that if I didn’t say the things I needed to say I would never really be able to move on. I was finally able to flip the switch.
After sending my email I updated my facebook status with that very line and got some interesting responses. Now I know if you put up a cryptic status, you definitely deserve asinine responses and I was never mad that people found pleasure in my pain but this morning I woke up to one comment that really made me think.
My friend Brent said there may not always be drama but there will always be comedy. I like that statement. As I thought more about it, I began to see yesterday a little differently. I stopped focusing on all the emotional baggage and looked at things that made me smile. I thought about the email chain going back and forth between my girlfriends with the playful little jokes thrown in. I went back to the phone call from my friend Colleen telling me all the funny stories from the crazy events of her weekend. I thought about chatting and laughing with my Dad over a glass of wine in my parents kitchen. I remembered the call from my friend Tommy telling me how he wasted the last 45 minutes of his work day catching up on my blog. I thought about meeting my friend Steve and his friends at the bar and learning what exactly a truck bomb is and seeing one done in under 4 seconds (totally gross by the way!). I even enjoyed all the flip, flip, flipadelphia comments posted on my facebook wall.
There will always be comedy or something to laugh about or something fun to do, but if we get so bogged down in the drama of life, we are going to miss those things. I want to laugh more. If I cry, I want it to be from happiness rather than pain. I want to see the comedy in life rather than the drama.
So instead of obsessing over the boy who doesn’t want you back, maybe you should start obsessing over finding a boy who will make you smile. When there’s a problem with work, instead of stressing over it, figure out a solution or move on. If you’re fighting with a friend or family member, step back and take a minute to look at what you’re actually fighting for and see if it’s a battle you really need to have. Whatever your drama is, learn to smile through it because like the book says, we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff.
"All she's ever felt is held back. She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh". She's gonna do a lot more of that. She's makin' plans and makin' tracks. She said "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me". Oh, oh she found the strength to break free." No Reigns - Rascal Flatts
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