31 for 31

So it’s the last day of March and the last day of my commitment to write a post every day.  I have to say that it was definitely a challenge to find the time and the motivation to write something that frequently but I did it.  Yes there were a couple days when I posted at 12:15am the next morning or the one day I forgot to do an entry so I had to write two in one day but on this last day, there are 31 entries for the 31 days in March and I’m good with that.   I will admit that not every post was earth shattering but I made a commitment to writing and I stuck too it and that's all that matters. 

It’s a common saying that life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon and for me, writing a novel is my marathon.  I know that sounds farfetched but if you really think about it, it makes sense.  You don’t just wake up one day and say, “Today I’m going to run 26 miles”.  You have to train and work up to that goal and most of the time, the hardest part of the preparation is getting started and creating a routine.  That’s exactly what I tried to do with this little challenge.   Train and create a routine.

In order to be better at something, you have to work at it.  Practice makes perfect.   This month, I wrote a lot of posts and tried to work on a lot of different things to continue to improve my writing.  Just like a runner, I was training.  Also, I got into a very comfortable rhythm of writing every day so hopefully moving forward, I will expect to write as part of my daily routine rather than have to force myself to sit down at the computer.   

 I really wanted to get used to pushing through the things that keep me from writing.  I knew I would have to dig a little deeper to find the motivation to break through the writer’s block and get past the distractions this month.  I know there will always be writer’s block and distractions but it will be up to me to not let them get to me. 

So good bye March!  You were a productive month and overall, a successful month.  Hopefully I will continue with the routine I've development but now I just have one question.  What do I do in April?

“There’s nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” – Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith

One Day Die

Life can sometimes be difficult to explain or understand so we look for things that will help us cope with what we are going through.  I personally write a lot of my posts to be relatable.  For me it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling they way I do sometimes and I hope that if you read them, there are times you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone either. 

Music also has the power to be relatable.  I’ve said it before but music can help express feelings or give you the words to say when you need them.   Today, I want to encourage everyone reading this to check out the music of a very talented artist named Matt Duke.  Matt’s album “One Day Die” was released yesterday and I have to say it’s fantastic!  In this album, he uses beautiful lyrics to power through some deep feelings and emotions.  From coping with death in “The Hour” to the end of love in “Love You Anymore” to coming to terms with the past in “MTL”, Matt is able to tackle some very heavy but relatable topics.  Maybe you won’t find anything in common with Matt’s music but I still urge you to give him a shot.  He’s got an amazing talent and I don’t think you will be disappointed with this album.

“For now the waking world can wait

To sing your blues away

And hope for better days

Pick an old song

Then we’ll dance in the dark

It’s that needle and thread

Stitch up my broken heart…”

-Needle and Thread, Matt Duke “One Day Die”

One Or Two Bad Apples Can't Ruin The Bunch

On Sunday I wrote about my disastrous volleyball experience and tonight as I entered the gym for my next game, I have to admit that I dreaded going through those doors.  I couldn’t take another night like that.  Not only was I still dealing with the sting of disappointment from this team, but I'm sick and have a ton going on this week so I had a very limited tolerance level and not a lot of patience for any foolishness. 

One hour later when I walked to my car, I found myself wondering who the team was that showed up tonight because there was no way that it was the same team that came on Sunday.  The team I watched tonight had heart.  They cared about the performance they put forth.   They focused on their own game rather than worrying about the other team.  More importantly, they showed signs of being a team that I would be happy to be associated with.

I realized tonight that the team as a whole is not the problem.  One or two people may be the issue but I think I can get to them.  For me, this year has been all about working on myself so maybe this is just one more thing that will challenge me.  This team will push me and probably frustrate me but tonight I saw potential.  I just hope they don’t let me down.

Two days ago, I was torn.  For a while, I seriously contemplated quitting.  I thought maybe I stuck around one year too long and I should have gone out on a high note last year.  The problem with that was that I’m not a quitter.  I made a commitment and sometimes you don’t get the ideal situation but you just have to man up and figure out how to deal with what you’ve been given.  A coach is supposed to be a leader and I am going to do my best to lead this team in the direction I would like them to go.   It’s only a lost cause if you give up on it. 

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” – Publilius Syrus

Finishing Best

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about nice guys finishing last and asked the question, what happens to nice girls.  Well I’d like to revisit both of those ideas.

I said nice guys finish last but maybe it’s more like they finish best.  This weekend, I spent time with some of my favorite people in the world.  Most of my friends are either married, engaged or in serious relationships and this weekend reminded me that each of them managed to find really nice guys but more importantly these nice guys found the best girls.  At the end of the game, it looks like the nice ones are definitely coming in first place.

So what happens to nice girls?  Nice girls find nice guys.  Sounds pretty simple but if you’re a nice girl out there looking for your knight in shining armor; you just have to keep the faith.  When I wrote my original post about nice guys finishing last, I was motivated by a few situations where the bad guys came out on top, however, this weekend I was surrounded by example after example of nice people who found each other.  It all make me think, how could any of these people ever come in last? 

“I do want to go out on top, as a winner.” – Art Modell

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Last week I wrote about trying to figure out what kind of coach I was.  Tonight, I had my first volleyball games of the 2011 season and what I was was an embarrassed coach. 

As I watched 18 year old kids make fools of themselves for two hours, I was really disappointed in the team that I was a part of.   Not only were there rude and disrespectful to me but they were just as bad to the other teams we played.  As a coach, I can tolerate losing.  I am ok being on a team that loses every game because it is not the numbers in the win/ lose columns of their final records that will determine if they are a loser.  If you give something your all and you end up on the losing side of the score board, that is still a respectable effort.  That is a performance I can support.  You can correct losing.   As a coach you can help them work harder to figure out the things they need to fix in order to get better or you change lines ups to come up with what works best.  It’s ignorance that I refuse to tolerate because then I am really dealing with a loser and I refuse to stoop to that level.

It is a common saying in sports that you play for the name on the front of the jersey, not the name on the back but if you think about it, you should be playing for both.  The name on the front represents your team.  There is no “I” in team and when you put on that uniform you are supposed to play for the betterment of the team, not individual success.  However, the name on the back is usually your last name and when you put your last name on your body and take to a court or field, it has nothing to do with individual glory.  That name represents you.  It represents where you came from and the values you were raised with.  You share that name with other people and you should never shame it by acting any less that classy. 

We played 2 games, 6 total sets and went 3-3.  By the numbers you would say we didn’t do too badly but this team lost a whole like more than they won.  They won three games but they lost my respect.  In sports and in life, we have to remember that how we play the game is just as important as the final score.  How we act in our everyday lives or at a sporting event is a direct reflection of who we are as people.  We wear our last names on the back of our jerseys in sports but in life we wear them every day.  We should take pride in that.  Someone gave you that name and you should either aim to make it better or just hope to live up the honor of having it.  We shouldn’t tarnish it by acting foolish. 

Take A Step Back

When life gets crazy, step back from it. Today was the first day in weeks that I haven't felt overwhelmed with everything that has been going on in my life. So I'm going to continue with my nice drama free day and encourage you all to do the same. Everything that was bothering you will be there tomorrow and maybe backing away from it will give you a little perspective on your problems. And of course, like the book says, don't sweat the small stuff because its all small stuff! Have a nice weekend!

Under the Big Top

Wildcats, Huskies, and Bulldogs oh my!  College basketball is back after a few day hiatus and once again we are reminded just how mad this three ring circus in March can be.

At the end of last weekend, 52 teams had received tickets home to watch the rest of the tournament from their couches.  Teams like Texas, Washington, and Pitt headed home still scratching their heads over their losses while teams like Penn State and Old Dominion will always wonder just how that ball went in.  Regardless of the logistics, in March its win or go home and for all those teams, turn off the music because their dance is done. 

Before last night’s games, 16 teams remained.  Each of these teams were enjoying the sweetness of their current status while secretly hoping that after their next game, they would find themselves standing among the elite.  When the party started up again, Kansas, Ohio State, and Duke were all expected to be there while Richmond, Virginia Commonwealth and Butler somehow snuck their names on the guest list.  As we kicked off the second week of a tournament that has already had more twists and turns than a CSI plot line, did we really expect anything less that more drama?

Thursday night’s games upheld their end of the bargain providing us with more exciting basketball to watch and more surprise endings to wreak havoc with our brackets.  We said goodbye to the possibility of a repeat champion as the Arizona Wildcats sunk their claws into the Blue Devils of Duke.  The Aztecs must have missed the Beware of Dog sign that was outside the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA last night because when they ran into them, the UConn Huskies drove San Diego State right out of the tournament.  The Badgers began to shake when they realized the Bulldogs' bite was just as bad as their bark and in the end Butler chewed up and spit out Wisconsin.  And finally, the most notable news of the night was the sudden demise of the tournaments biggest star.  Rest in peace Jimmer Fredette.  You were a promising young man with great hope for success until your unfortunate encounter with some Florida Gators.  Who will the CBS Sports team talk about now?  

Today is another day and a whole new set of players take the court.  The Jayhawks will try to swoop into the Elite 8 but Richmond will attempt to show Kansas that there is nothing more deadly than a Spider bite.  The Golden Eagles of Marquette are hoping that they will continue soaring through the tournament but it might be a North Carolina Tarheel that will bring their impressive flight to an end.  VCU will keep trying to ram home the point that their invitation to the big dance was not a mistake but it is the Florida State Seminoles that hope to do a rain dance on the Rams parade.  And the Ohio State Buckeyes intend to drive Kentucky nuts but the Wildcats might just be hungry today. 

The big top is packed.  The people are in their seats.  The circus is back and something tells me, we ain’t seen nothing yet.

“It’s awesome baby!  With a capital exclamation point!” – Dick Vitale

Put Me In Coach

Today I said to some coworkers that I had to go to volleyball practice after work and one of them asked me what kind of coach I was.  Later on at practice, I was still thinking about that question and trying to figure out just what kind of coach I thought I had been.

You would think that by my 6th year, I would already know what kind of coach I was but it wasn't that easy.  I thought back to players I’ve had and tried to come up with what they would say about me.  There are some kids that I still keep in touch with that I hope would say that I was a great coach.  There is that one girl who actually yelled at me after we lost our last game who probably wouldn’t be to fond of her experience with me.  And of course there are bound to be some past players that don’t even really remember me. 

I really have no idea why this question kept circulating through my head but after several hours realized this was a trick question.  I’m not coaching myself so to say I am any kind of coach would a call I'm not qualified to make.   I may never know what kind of coach I am but I do know what kind of coach I want to be. 

I want to be the kind of coach that you feel comfortable enough with that you are not afraid to be yourself.  These kids spend all day in school listening to teachers and following rules and while there are rules and regulations on the volleyball court, I want them to have fun with the sport and not be afraid to make mistakes.  I want to be a coach that teaches them something.  I don’t care if it’s a volleyball skill or a life lesson; I just want them to walk away taking something from this experience.  I want to be someone in their lives that is there for them if they ever need it but most importantly, I want to be someone that believes in them.  Every coach would love to fill their teams with perfect players who just seem to have everything come naturally to them but I’ve found that it’s the ones that surprise you that are the most rewarding ones to know. 

As I left St. Rose tonight, I was reminded of a saying that the first grade teacher there used to write on everyone’s report card: 2 good + 2 be = 4gotten.  So there’s my conclusion.  I just hope I’m a coach that they remember.  You can’t ask for anything more than that.  No matter what is that we do, we want to be remembered as someone who made an impact or left their mark.  We want to be 2 good + 2 be + 4gotten. 

“All coaching is, is taking a player where he can't take himself." - Bill McCartney

Everything Comes In Time

Often we are too concerned with the plans we try to make for our lives or the idea of how we want things to go.  This inevitably causes us to create deadlines in our minds.  There is a time for us to grow up.  There is a time for us to fall in love.  There is a time for us to get married.  There is a time for us to have kids.  There is a time for everything but the problem with time is that even though we can see the seconds ticking away on a watch, we can’t make things happen to us just because we believe it is “that time”.    

It is a nice thought to be able to plan out when you want things in your life to happen but what if they don’t go according to your plan?  What if you have kids before you expected to or you never end up getting married even though you want to?  What if you die at 36 instead of 80 like you thought you would or you never end up with the high ranking executive job you planned to have?  What if you get cancer or live your life never having any major amount of money in the bank?  Is your life any less important?  Does your existence in this world suddenly become insignificant? 

There are 60 seconds in every minute, 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, and 365 days in every year.  Those numbers may be facts but in our lives, none of those numbers are guaranteed.  Every second, minute, day and year are a gift and we should enjoy it rather than stress away over the fact that we have to make certain things happen at certain times.  Sure there is a time for everything but I think I'd rather believe that everything comes in time and we should enjoy the time in between now and everything.

“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.” - Unknown

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

After yesterday’s post, the craziness of relationships has been a reoccurring thought running through my mind.  How can two people who were in a relationship together have completely polar opposite views of the same situation?  When I was in my last relationship, I was 100% invested in it and spent years trying to get my ex to want me back but all he did was keep proving to me that I was replaceable.   He pushed me away time and time again until finally, he pushed me so far that I didn’t come back.  Now, I’m completely over it but he’s convinced that we would be the perfect relationship.  He claims that we were together at the wrong time in our lives but I think he must have hit his head on something because he’s completely delusional.  Him and I together bring a lot of words to mind but trust me, perfect isn’t one of them.  Seriously, how can two people be on such completely different pages in a story that they are practically reading different books? 

My current heart dilemma is an easy fix.  Too much has happened, too much time has passed, and I’ve had enough drama for one lifetime.  He can be the boy who cried love all he wants but maybe he should have loved a little more when he had the chance.  I’m done going backwards.  I’m moving forward.

However, I can’t help but think about why is it that you can love someone when they don’t love you back?  If relationship takes two people, how is it possible for those two people to be together but not have their feelings match up? Aren’t they having the same experiences and moments?  If you have such strong feelings for a person and those feelings aren’t returned, then who’s the one that is obviously missing something?  Are you nuts for feeling the way you are feeling?  Or is this person the insane one for not realizing how great you are and loving you back?  Do we only love things when we can’t have them?  Or can you love someone at one point in life and change your mind later on?  With all this gray area, is it really possible for an entire relationship to come down to such a black and white question like he loves me or he loves me not?  Somebody get me a daisy.

Unfortunately, plucking the petals of a flower to determine whether or not someone loves you is just far too logical.  I know how crazy that sounds but when you pull the last petal, whether you end up with love or love not, there is a definite answer.  There is no well maybe he kind of does answer or maybe he does today but that will change tomorrow option.  You’re not going end up wondering if he loves you or if he love the other girl who keeps sending him texts messages.  Ultimately, it’s either love or not. 

Relationships end everyday leaving people wondering what happened.  If only we could give them the stem of a daisy to answer their questions, however, in real life, we don’t get definite answers.  The truth is that we are all just making it up as we go along.  No playbook, no rules, and no flower solution to the mystery that is love.  Sometimes we get lucky and the people we love, love us back.  Sometimes we get really lucky and when they love us back, they don’t want to let us go. Unfortunately, there are also times when something is just missing and love doesn’t seem to materialize or it’s fleeting.  We can pluck all the flower pedals we want but regardless of the answer the plant gives us, reality is going to intervene.  There is no real answer to why some relationships work and some don’t.  All we can do is trust our instincts and get a helmet because life and love are tough.

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

Enough is...

When is enough, enough?  Why do people who hurt you continue to try to do so?   Is it some kind of sick, twisted game in which the ultimate goal is to inflict as much pain as possible on someone for your own enjoyment? 

I’ve mentioned my last disaster of a relationship many times already but for reasons beyond my control, it just keeps coming up.  I’m so sick of him coming back! I don’t respond and I try to ignore it but he never seems to get the picture.  He hurt me, game over.  I learned a lot from that relationship but I also agreed to leave it completely behind me as of the first of this year.  However, no matter how hard I try to let it fade out of my life and become just a page in my history, it keeps reappearing in my present.  Why can’t I just be free? 

Most of the time relationships end for definite reasons.  There are usually fundamental issues that cause the demise of what you have together.  Resurrecting a relationship only brings up the reasons that it didn't work out in the first place.  In this particular case, I know exactly why it died and I have no desire to bring it back to life. I’ve been through the unanswered questions and I’ve realized that I no longer want answers because they don’t matter.  Going back would be insane.  Period.  End of sentance.  Start a new thought.  Start a new relationship. The only answer I need to know is to the question, “is he the one?”  That answer is a resounding no.  So I ask again, when is enough, enough?  How much does one person have to take before they get a break and break free completely?  When is enough, enough?

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

Slow and Steady

I wrote today.  Not just my blog but actually wrote.  I worked on that elusive novel I talk about but never really seem to make much progress on.  I am by no means finished but I’m working.  I can’t think of anything more important to put in today’s blog post. 

Small steps towards your goals may take to you longer to get to where you want to be but small steps may lead to bigger ones once you get going.  You have to get started somehow.  Maybe the tortoise was on to something when he said that slow and steady wins the race.

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” – Chinese Proverb

Enjoy The Ride

During my academic career, I had a lot of great teachers that I remember but when I think back on school, I think first of Mr. Mooney’s English class. When I was a sophomore in high school, it was a rite of passage to have a particular English teacher and I was actually looking forward to that teacher.  This person was the school’s old track coach and I was a runner so naturally he liked me.  I figured I’d even get a little favoritism that year and I always liked English so it seemed like a win/win for me.  However, when I got my schedule, I realized that somehow, I didn’t get that particular teacher but rather for English, I was one of only two classes that had Mr. Mooney as a teacher.  At first I was disappointed.  Mr. Mooney was the first ever high school teacher I had because he was my homeroom moderator and he was the school’s basketball coach but even though I thought he was nice, I hadn’t heard anything about his classes.  I really had no idea what to expect. 

What he was was the man who introduced me to some of the great writers that I have grown to love and respect.  He had us read Salinger and Fitzgerald and it was that year that I decided I wanted to be a writer.  More importantly, he was the teacher who wouldn’t let me hid in the background.  In high school, I was shy and very comfortable going days without saying a word in class if I didn’t have to.  I didn’t want to be called on and I especially didn’t want to be singled out, not because I didn’t know the answers but because I didn’t want anyone to know I was there.  It’s harder to be judged or picked on if no one knows your there.  Most teachers paid me no mind but Mr. Mooney, who insisted on calling me “The Rock”, refused to let me just sit there and blend into the scenery which ultimately made me enjoy his class more than any other I had that year.  He treated us like real people in a school filled with teachers who were constantly reminding us that we were nothing more than children.  I could never have imagined that years later, my favorite teacher would still be teaching me valuable life lessons. 

As I watched the Richmond Spiders defeat the Morehead State Eagles today, I watched a completely different basketball game than most people.  Most people watched the Spiders advance to sweet sixteen of the NCAA Tournament but what I saw was Mr. Mooney, the guy who made such an impact on high school career, realize his dreams.  15 years ago, he was my first high school teacher and now there he was on CBS giving post game interviews and coaching a team that will hopefully write a Cinderella story for this year’s tournament. 

I’m happy for Mr. Mooney getting his win today and I hope that he will write a fairly tale that will live on forever in college basketball history but no matter what happens next week or beyond, it’s still nice to see that dreams really can come true.  Today, when the CBS announcers said that Chris Mooney started his career as a high school coach, I realized that it’s not about where you start, it’s about the road you take to get there.  More than likely we don’t get to have our dreams and achievements right out of the gate just because we want them but it is because we want them that will keep us moving forward towards them.  We are all meant to do great things, but we can’t forget to enjoy all the great things we do along the way to achieving our dreams.  We have to remember to enjoy the ride.

"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions." - Edgar Cayce

Health and Wealth

The other day, I overheard some of the ladies who sit near me at work discussing how they have had colds all winter.  Before I put my headphones on to drown out their chatter, I thought to myself that I hadn’t had a cold at all this season.  I figured I must have lucked out. 

This morning I stopped at Target on my way into work to pick up cold medicine because I woke up completely stuffed up yesterday.  So much for my luck!  Why couldn’t those ladies be talking about winning the lottery because I’ve never done that either.  I would have much rather had that than this cold J

“The greatest wealth is health.” –Virgil

Erin Go Bragh!

Today is St. Patrick’s Day and for one day we all get to embrace the Irish inside of us.  Some may commemorate this day by wearing green while others will drink in celebration of this special day.  However you chose to get in touch with your inner Irish spirit, enjoy it!  Leave your worries behind, put your troubles off for another time, accept the luck of the Irish and cheers to you today!

Instead of imparting some sort of half baked wisdom or telling some long drawn out story, today I will simply leave you with the words of a common Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,

May the wind always be at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rain fall short upon your fields,

And until we meet again may god hold you in the palm of his hand.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

“Wherever you go and whatever you do,

May the luck of the Irish be there with you” – Irish Toast

Finish What You Start

Yesterday I wrote about my life going round and round in circles.  Today, I am reminded just how true that theory really is but in a totally different way than I meant it in my previous post.  Everything ends up coming back around again.

Six years ago, I started coaching high school volleyball for the league I played in when I was in high school.  The league is mainly for fun but can get competitive.  My first two years, I had a team of juniors/seniors who I really enjoyed coaching.  After the second season with the same team, my kids graduated so I wasn’t quite sure who my next team would be.  The logical thing to do would be to start with a team of freshman that I would be able to coach year after year until they were seniors.   I was half right. 

I got a group of junior girls and boys with a handful of freshman boys mixed in.  Well that team had a lot of issues!  As you can imagine the juniors, who had been playing for a few years now, were at a much higher skill level while the freshman had absolutely no idea what they were doing.  This created major controversy because the older kids wanted to win or at least be competitive and the younger ones just wanted to play around.   The maturity level was also a huge roadblock when it came to bringing the team together as a cohesive unit. 

So the following year, my team was split up because of the age differences and I was given my juniors kids that were now in their senior year along with other players who were also seniors.  I loved that team!  They played well together and wanted to win.  We went to the final four of the league playoffs and I couldn’t have asked for a better group of kids that year but like all seniors, they graduated after that season.

 So when I went to the first practice of the next year, I was once again convinced I would get freshman but I was surprised when I was given another team of seniors.  This team was very different than my last senior team.  In their junior season, my new team lost practically every game they played.  By the end of their senior season, the team had a solid winning record, played great together, and the least likely players became that allstars of the team.  I had another wonderful year and it was an honor to get to coach that group of kids.  However, yet another team moved on to college.

Last night I walked into the gym for the first practice of another season with the same mindset I have had in the past.  I had been waiting on that rebuilding year but apparently another team had been waiting for me.  Those same freshman boys that I coached all those years ago had become seniors and apparently in their minds when you reach your senior year, you get the opportunity to have me as your volleyball coach.  Why they would want that, I honestly have no idea but for some reason they did and now all I have to say is here we go again!

Like I said when I started this entry, life comes full circle.  I taught these kids the basics that first year and now I get to finish what I started.   I’ve watched them grow up over the other years and I’m honestly not sure how far they have come but I’m about to find out as yet another volleyball season comes to start.  The interesting thing is that I thought this year might be my last so ironically when these boys graduate, I might be moving on as well.  We’ll see…

“What goes around, comes around.” - Proverb

Round and Round

Life has been beyond insane lately!  All I do is rush and run around but tonight I got home with enough time to catch Glee’s latest episode and I have to say I loved the original music!   I’ve talked before about how music can be the sound track to your life and I think the Gleeks hit my current situation right on.

“What can you do when your good isn’t good enough,

All that you touch tumbles down.

My best intentions keep making a mess of things,

Just want to fix it somehow.

How many times will it take to get it right?”

-Rachel Berry, Glee

I feel like my life just plays the same story over and over sometimes.  The characters might change but the tale remains the same.  No matter how hard I try to change it, I keep spinning round and round in the same circle with no end in site.  The only bright side to things is that now, I’ve read the book so many times that I’m fully prepared for the ending, especially since it’s not the ending that I would like.  How many times will it take to get it right?

Oh Brother

So I’m going to shock you all and not write something about sports today.  One of the things I hoped to accomplish this year was to establish a better relationship with my brother.  I have one sibling and to say that we haven’t gotten along in the past may be an understatement but I want to change that.

If you have a brother or sister and you are close to each other, I am jealous of you.  I want to be close to my brother but the differences between us have always kept us apart.  I will also admit that I’m very hard to get along with at times.  I hold him, like many people in my life, to exceptionally high standards and that’s not really fair to him. 

Tonight, we had the final game of our winter flag football season and I realized that maybe I was on the right track with him.  We are both very competitive people, especially me, and that makes it hard to play well  together, especially when it comes to athletics.  Tonight I realized that we made it a whole season working together and it went really well.   I think it helped that for the first time, we played with all his friends instead of on my turf but I would say we’ve come a long way and I think that we are definitely on the right road towards having the kind of relationship I hope to have with him. 

If you have a brother or sister, learn to enjoy them.  Sometimes it doesn’t come naturally but that doesn’t mean it will never happen.  They may irritate you at times or know exactly how to push your buttons but in the end, they are the ones who will be standing by you when you really need them.    

“Sometimes I want to kill Sarah but I would kill for her all the time.” – Cheaper by the Dozen

Dare To Be Different

After what was a nonstop college basketball filled weekend for me, I decided to end the three day sports fest with a documentary on the one of the most memorable teams in all of college hoops.  ESPN made a movie on Michigan’s Fab Five, their elite basketball team from the early 90’s, and as much as it killed me to have to watch the Blue and Maze of Michigan for two hours, the story made a really interesting point.

For those of you who don’t know, the “Fab Five” is the name given to the crop of freshman recruited by the University of Michigan Wolverine basketball program in 1991.  Now although during the time of the Fab Five, I was more interested in Barbie than basketball, I am very aware of who these players were and what they did. In the college basketball world, this class of freshmen was considered to be the best class ever recruited and it was those athletes that would change the game as the world knew it.  The Wolverines road the coattails of the fabulous youngsters straight to back to back final fours and NCAA championship finals but both times, the iconic team came up short, losing the title to Duke in 1992 and UNC in 1993.  Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King and Ray Jackson aimed to shock the world and 20 years later, it doesn’t take an ESPN documentary to prove they did just that.

In his interview last night, Jalen Rose made an interesting point.  Basically he said he would rather be remembered as a member of Michigan’s Fab Five than be forgotten as a part of the NCAA title teams that beat them.    Sure the names Christian Laettner and Grant Hill might stand out as great players but few would refer to them as members of the 1992 Duke Blue Devil team that beat the freshman Wolverine’s in their first NCAA Championship appearance.  That year will always be about the five freshmen who went from unexpected to national title contenders.  I can’t tell you who the starting five for the North Carolina Tarheels were in 1993 when they took the title but Chris Webber taking a time out when Michigan had none left, will stand out in history forever.  Even though the Kings of Tabacco Road proved they were superior to the Fab Five in both of those years, it is the Wolverine’s that made the biggest impact on the game. 

They listened to hip hop music and opted to wear big baggy shorts, black shoes and black socks.  Shaved heads, tattoos and earrings gave them a unique look and it was their bash, trash talking, controversial attitudes that made them a constant presence in the media.  People referred to their style and play as playground basketball but regardless of all that, they were nothing short of electric on a basketball court.  I will steal some timeless phrases from broadcasting great Dick Vital and say that these five superstars, the true definition of Diaper Dandies, were simply awesome baby.  Maybe they never won a national championship or fully lived up the hype and potential that they had but these kids infused college hoops with a whole new culture. 

But what goes up must come down and in this case it would be the 1992 and 1993 final four banners that hung in Michigan’s Crisler Arena.  Due to a scandal involving several Michigan basketball players taking money from a booster as college athletes including Chris Webber, the Fab Five’s legacy was erased from the record books.  However, even though you can remove stats and scores or take down banners, you are unable to alter memories.  The Fab Five and what they did will never be forgotten.

Now for the moral of this tale.  What they did in the win and loss column of the stat sheet was one thing but what they did as a team was something completely different.  Sure they were excellent basketball players but they were not unbeatable.  These kids wanted to shock the world and they did just that by daring to be different.  They stood by who they were and played that way despite their critics.  The members of the Fab Five have no national collegiate titles or even NBA championships under their belts but what they do have is a legacy that will live on forever simply because they were who they were.  Not a bad little life lesson for all of us if you ask me.

“Media members would judge us by more than just how we played.  They would judge us by how we dress.” – ESPN Fab Five Documentary

What a Difference a Year Can Make...

Ok I have to say that my life has been all college basketball for the past few days but I'm sure you figured that out from my last post.  Well I’ve said it before but inspiration can be found in all kinds of unusual places and today I found some that I didn’t expect.

Today I’ve watched two games.   At 1pm, I watched the UNC Tarheels defeat the Clemson Tigers in an overtime victory.  It was Carolina’s second come from behind win in two days.  As a diehard Tarheel fan, I was glued to the TV praying with the rest of the UNC faithful, just hoping that they could pull of a win.  This team has definitely figured out a way to test my nerves over the past few days and I’m sure they will be do the same when they play for the AAC title tomorrow.  A year ago you never would have thought that a chance for Carolina to win the conference would have been possible.

I started this blog by asking the question, can 365 days change your life.  Well for the UNC Tarheels it most definitely can.  In 2009, Roy Williams and the Heels stood above the rest as the undisputed #1 team in all of college basketball when they won the NCAA tournament.  In 2010, when the brackets were released, the Tarheels found themselves absent from the field of 64.  In 2011, a victory tomorrow could give Carolina a chance at one of the four number #1 seeds available in tourney. 

As I sit here watching my second game of the day, I see another team rise from a year they would rather forget, to be on the brink of the year they will always remember.  Penn State is playing Michigan State for a chance to play tomorrow for the Big Ten title.  Two years ago, the Nittany Lions were on the tournament bubble and found themselves on the outside looking in but they weren’t going down yet.  A victory in the NIT tournament, gave them the vindication that they needed that year and everyone expected them to be selected for a March Madness spot the next year.  Last year, after a less than stellar season, Penn State wasn’t even a consideration for the NCAA Tournament.  This year, PSU is once again sitting on the bubble and hoping that win today will get them into the big dance.

Can a year make a difference?  Maybe hard work or finding the right pieces of the puzzle to succeed are all you need, but never underestimate determination and heart.  Carolina will be dancing but where will they rank among the rest of the field while Penn State will sweat it out for the chance to get an invite for the first time in ten years.  In the case of both of these teams, a year can make a difference but it will be tomorrow, Selection Sunday that will really solidify that fact. 

"Champions keep playing until they get it right." - Billie Jean King

The Heart of March

This weekend is Championship Weekend in the NCAA world and basketball’s elite will rise above the rest to claim their conference titles.  Some will play like champions while most will feel the sting of defeat.  They will all gain national exposure but it will not quite quench their thirst for greatness.  For each of these disciples of the hardwood, this weekend is nothing more than a prequel of things to come.  They long for something bigger than just the chance to make a run at the conference championship.  They wish and pray to hear their names called on the holiest of all holy days in college basketball.  They hope to worship at the church of March Madness on Selection Sunday.

There are a lot of great traditions in sports but none as exciting and pure as March Madness.  A field of 68 teams will be selected and battle it out over the next several weeks for the chance to hoist the national championship trophy.  It's win or go home.  There are no contract years or endorsements to play for.  Each team takes the court for 40 minutes a night and plays with all their heart for the chance to live to play another day.  For most of them, David will fall to Goliath but for a select few, they will be able to pull off an upset or two and if we are lucky there will be a 2006 George Mason Patriot, a 2010 Butler Bulldog, a 1983 NC State Wolfpack or a 1985 Villanova Wildcat in the mix because every big dance needs a Cinderella. 

So on Sunday, number one seeded teams will go to sleep with visions of climbing ladders and cutting down nets dancing in their heads while 16^th seeded teams will be trying on their glass slippers.  The bubble teams whose invitation to the big dance got lost in the mail will find themselves settling for the not invited tournament and the world will try desperately to harness their inner psychic powers to complete the most accurate brackets.  Fans will live and die by their teams and hope for nothing more than for the madness to last for as long as possible.

Welcome to the heart of March.  Get ready for the madness.

"Kentucky basketball is a big deal, and I'm not the biggest fan - I am just the most notorious one." - Ashley Judd

Birthday Redo

So my birthday was Monday and it pretty much came and went. To be honest, if it wasn’t for all the facebook messages, I wouldn’t have even known it was my birthday. I had a sixteen candles, Molly Rigwald, invisible kind of day. The problem is that I ended my bday alone, passing out in the middle of night from pure over worked exhaustion and Molly got a birthday cake and Jake Ryan. Wouldn’t life be so much better if it were like the movies?


Well lucky for me I get a bday redo over the next few days. I doubt that it will end like a John Hughes movie but I’m sure it will be a great time with the people I care about the most. To be honest, it doesn’t matter what the day, as long as you have amazing people in your life who care about you, every day is special.

This year on my bday redo I’m thankful for the people in my life. I’m happy to have such a wonderful family and I’m lucky to have the most amazing friends in the world. Turning 29 with people who could care less about me sucked but being 29 with the people who are my world is better than anything I ever could have imagined.

Birthdays are all about wishes and wants. What gifts you want for your day or what you wish for when you blow out the candles on your cake. I already admitted that I made a wish this year but the more I think about it, who needs wishes when you have everything you could ever want. Sure there may always be things that I will want in life but I am very aware of all I have and I’d say I’m pretty lucky. 

Jake: “Happy birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.”
Samantha: “Well, it already came true.”
-Sixteen Candles

Give It Up

So I would classify myself as Catholic but I wouldn’t say that I’m overly religious.  My theory on religion is that I like the idea of believing that there is someone larger than life looking out for me or that you can turn to when you need somewhere to go.  Today is the start of Lent and I have to say that is a religious tradition that I think we can all learn from.

Vices.  We all have vices.  Vices can be things that we know are bad for us or things that we shouldn’t be doing but do anyways.  Vices can also be things that over indulge in.  Lent is all about giving up those types of vices.   It’s all about promising to go without something that we really might enjoy in order to show that we can make a sacrifice.

Catholic or not, we can all use a little cleansing in our lives.  Sometimes I think we become too dependent on things.  Food becomes a form of comfort.  Drinks become a copping mechanism or a necessity for a fun night.  TV or Facebook are technology addictions that can sometimes be more powerful and life crippling than most drugs.  Giving up these things can help us grow as people.

I've given up a lot of things over the years.  When I was little, I used to try to get my mom to let me give up school.  My brother and I used to give up ice cream every year because my mom would promise us sundaes at Friendly's at the end of lent.  This year I’m giving up soda to start.  I drink too much of it.  I crave it.  I wish I didn’t but it’s hard for me to go without it when I have an urge for it.  It may not seem like much but it will be a true test of my will power if I can go the next 40 days without it.  Maybe I'll give up something else along the line but for now I definitely want to start with soda.

So what are you giving up for Lent?  A little sacrifice is good for the mind, body and the soul.  Think about it and make a commitment to go 40 days without something you love.  See if you can do.  It might be harder than you think! 

“I think that the good and the great are only separated by the willingness to sacrifice.” – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Welcome Home

Well it is my last night and Florida and I can safely say I have absolutely nothing to write about. To be honest, I’m so exhausted that I don’t think my brain can even function properly. However, I said I would write every day so I’m living up to my commitment. All I’ve got for you today is that I love to travel, but sometimes you just want to click your ruby red slippers together and pull a Dorothy. Home is where the heart is or in Dorothy’s case, where Auntie Em is. The world is full of wonderful places but in the end, there’s no place home and I’ve even been more ready to get back to it.


“Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in.” – Robert Frost

Blow Out Your Candles

Each year we turn another year older.  We grow another year wiser.  We get one step closer to the people are meant to be.  And each year, on that fateful day when we add another year to our age, we make a wish for something we are lacking.

Today is my 29^th birthday.  I'm supposed to make a wish, blow out a candle, and then eat cake.  Well today there was no candle, no cake, but there is a wish.  However, if told you, it wouldn’t come true and I’m really hoping this one does so I’m keeping it to myself.  Happy Birthday to Me!

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is yet to come.” - Lucy Larcom

The Grinch That Stole Cliffmas

This Christmas, my mom gave my brother and me a gift.  It was card with money in to put towards the trip we were planning on taking to see the Phillies at Spring Training in March.  The card read, “Merry Cliffmas” in reference to the Phillies latest acquisition, superstar pitcher Cliff Lee.  That day made it seem really definite that David and I would be seeing the Phillies come March.  Last week, our “Cliffmas” gift seemed to be the gift that kept on giving when the roster for this weekend’s games was announced and we found out that not only would be we actually get to see Cliff Lee pitch but also 2010 Cy Young award winner, Roy Halladay.

Yesterday, we finally got to enter Bright House Field and our Spring Training adventure began.  Our day started early when we arrived at 10am, a half an hour before the gates opened which allowed us to get a prime spot in the front row to watch batting practice.  Surrounded by kids and adults taking pictures and hoping for autographs, we felt pretty lucky to be standing where we were.   Roy Halladay pitched a great game, our seats were amazing and everything went perfectly.  We even started plotting all the things we would have to do the next day and the beauty of it all was that we still had a whole second day to make sure we really did spring training right.  Or so we thought.

This morning, my boss called me and told me that instead of reporting to the baseball game today, I had report to Orlando to for my meeting by 1 rather than my originally planned time of 5pm.  Bye bye spring training.  So long Cliff Lee.  My dream birthday trip was over way before I expected.  The Grinch had officially stolen Cliffmas. I made it to Orlando and realized that I have absolutely nothing to do until my 7pm reception so I thought I would use this time to reflect a little bit on my less than stellar day.

As I sit here, in the middle of the afternoon looking like a sad little girl in the new Cliff Lee t-shirt I bought just for today, I find myself trying to find something that I can take from this heartbreak.  I’ve been through the tears of disappointment and the yelling fits of rage and now I’m on to a half baked attempted at finding the silver lining. 

The only thing I can seem to come up with is that you should never put off till tomorrow what can be done today.  Even when you think you will get a second chance, you shouldn’t wait to do the things you want to do.

"Too many people miss the silver lining because they are too busy looking for gold." - Author Unknown

Good Days

Some days are just good days.  Everything just seems to go right and at the end of the day there is really nothing that needs to broken down, analyzed or rationalized.  Today was one of those days.

It was 80 degrees and sunny in Florida.  Phillies lost but in the small up close and personal stadium, I couldn’t help  but think that there is no better way to see a baseball game.  And to top it all off, Carolina pulled off the upset win over Duke for the #1 seed in the ACC tournament.  This is what I call an amazing day.

Every once in a while, you just need one of these days.  Sometimes we have to remember to take the time and enjoy these days when they happen.

“Every day might not be good, but there is good in every day.” – Author Unknown

Conquering the I-4

Well we made it to Clearwater.   David and I in our Chevy Impala rental car went the distance.   After a day trip to Universal Studios and eating at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville, we hit the I-4 and traveled the 103 miles to Clearwater, FL.  Needless to say, I’m now exhausted. 

But I did say I would write something every day in the month of March so here’s a thought for today.  I have a fear of driving.  I don’t like driving other people’s cars or driving in unfamiliar places but today as I drove down the highway, singing along to country music, I couldn’t remember exactly why I was so afraid.  My fear started because I had a few accidents but should we let a few setbacks hold us back?  If we get a few bad grades on tests, do we drop out of school?  When you go through a bad break up, do you give up on finding love forever?  If you break your arm playing sports, do you just quit playing all together?

If I don’t get over my fear of driving, I will never go anywhere.  Today I took a big step outside of my comfort zone and it really felt so silly to me that I was ever afraid in the first place.  I can’t spend my whole life being afraid that I’ll get in another accident or that I will get lost in some strange place.  This afternoon, I conquered the I-4 and in turn, conquered my irrational fear. 

Our lives are full of irrational fears.  Sure some negative things may have happened to you but that doesn’t mean that they should hinder your life.  Ultimately, when you face them head on, you realize just how ridiculous the phobia truly is.

“Always do what you are afraid to do.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Girl On The Move - Part One

103 miles from the Orlando Airport to Brighthouse Field in Clearwater, FL.  Not exactly the be all and end all of road trips but an adventure none the less.  I have actually only ever taken road trips with boyfriends, which basically means me in the passenger’s seat either talking their ear off or sound asleep.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a driver but tomorrow I will begin facing my fears by stepping behind the wheel and hitting the unfamiliar road.  I don’t know what I’ll find but I know what I’m looking for.  I’m looking for something different, something unfamiliar and unknown.  I’m looking for excitement and I’m seeking to make some memories along the way.  103 miles sounds like a good place to start.

Stay tuned for more from this girl on the move…

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller

It's All Greek To Me

I will be the first to admit that I don't watch quality television shows.  My DVR is loaded with episodes of Gossip Girl, the Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill and Pretty Little Liars just to name a few.  Basically I like cheesy teenage dramas and I’m ok with that.   Last night, my heart broke when I heard that one of my favorites would have its series finale next week. 

For those of you who don’t watch (and I’m sure that’s most of you), Greek is a show on ABC Family.  About four years ago we were introduced to the drama happening on Cyprus Roads University’s Greek Row.  The show centers around Casey Cartwright, the established upper classman who is immersed in her life at college, especially her role as sorority girl.  Rusty, Casey’s nerdy engineering major brother, is a freshman just looking to fit in and find the social scene he didn’t have in his past high school life.  The Cartwright’s along with a cast of other eccentric characters take on college life from inside the walls of a fraternity/sorority house.   Overall the show is one big mess of Greek letters branded on everything, late night parties, relationship drama, and the never ending search to find the true meaning of brotherhood and sisterhood.

I originally came across this show soon after I graduated from college and felt compelled to watch.  At that time I was missing my former life as a college student and sorority girl so it was nice to take a walk down memory lane every Monday night.   Next week, the show will air its last episode and as the cast ends their story, Casey, who calls Cyprus Roads and Zeta Beta Zeta her home, will be forced to leave it behind.  In last night’s episode, when a sorority alum came back to Cyprus, she brought to Casey’s attention that there is a life beyond Greek Row.  This former siser had changed, she had grown and she wasn’t the only one.  Everyone around Casey had changed too because thats what people do.  The only one who hadn't evolved was Casey.  She realized that life can’t stay the same forever and the things that mattered so much to her for the last four years were no longer that important, just memories.      

The fights, the feuds, the loves and the heartbreaks of our lives are all just that, memories.  I look at my college friends and think how different we were back when all we cared about were frat parties and formals.  Everyone has grown and evolved for better or worse.  College sweethearts have become husbands, wives, fiancés, or exes.  Some have given birth to new legacies or pursued new degrees.  The Greek letter t-shirts that we practically lived in have become blankets, gym shirts, or cleaning rags and 2 am might still exist but I’m sure many of us can’t remember that last time we have seen it.  The one thing that does remain are the memories and if we are lucky, the bonds that will keep us together as friends.  

 We all have to change in order to grow up, so eventually, we just have to move on.  Sometimes we may wish we could turn back time or stay at a certain stage of life but the truth is that life never stops moving and all we can do is our best to keep up with it.  Sometimes we will walk with it or jog along but most of the time we will have to run to keep pace with it as it flies by.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiousity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney

Girl vs. Computer - Strike One

So because I am trying to go outside of my comfort zone, I threw my better judgment out the window and took a chance on finding a new relationship in a way I never thought I would.  Typically, my strategy when it comes to dating is to hang back and let boys come to me.  Like many things in my life, I am not a very proactive dater; however, I recently made an attempt to change that.

For years now, people have been telling that I should venture into the online dating world and the other week; I caved and thought I would give it a shot.  Now I’ve heard the success stories and the horror stories associated with internet dating but for me personally, I don’t really buy into it.  It just seems like a more technologically advanced form of blind dating but on the flip side, where else are you going to meet people if you are a workaholic who travels way too much?  So I threw some money (yes they charge you) at the problem and took a chance on finding love on the world wide web.

Well I found a lot of creepers.  Over 800 profile views and 200 emails worth of creepers to be exact.  If you are over the age of 40 and living within a three state radius of me, I probably got an email from you.  I had a ton of guys telling me how pretty I was and how much we have in common.  Although there was interest, very few of them seemed like anyone I would be remotely willing to take a chance on but I promised myself and others that I would give it a chance.  My rule was three strikes or one month (whichever came first) and I’m out. 

Right out of the gate I caught my first frog who had all the potential to be a handsome prince.  He seemed great on paper and cute in pictures so I thought there was no harm in seeing if he was someone I might like to get to know.   It only took a few emails for me start wondering why exactly he was single and a few more emails for him to ask for my number.  Shortly after I gave him my number, I realized just why this guy was single.

Mr. Potential Suitor #1, when in the possession of a phone number, will drive you crazy!  He was a major texter.  Now I know that you’re probably thinking that texting is far from a deal breaker but after getting 9 texts on the first day he had my number, I started to think this guy might be a little much for me.  Every morning I get a good morning or a how’s your day going text.  Throughout the day, I get updates on what he’s doing like working out or running errands and let’s not forget about the dinner time texts where he tells me what he’s eating.  Of course there were good night texts too.  The texts were one thing but then there were also emails.  He even sent pictures.  And if I didn’t respond within a few hours, he would check in to make sure he hadn’t done something wrong to make me avoid him.   He was practically suffocating me and I hadn’t even met him yet!

Now, when it comes to relationships, I am pretty low maintenance.  I like to ease into things and someone coming on too strong, too fast will definitely send me running for the hills. I can’t deal with needy and this guy had gone from good on paper to full on Stage 10 Clinger in a matter of days.  I was even contemplating ways to break up with him when I realized, how do you break up with someone you’ve never even met?!

Ok so I think you all get the picture that Texter is definitely online dating strike one.  Two more and I’m officially retiring from this game.  He wasn't a bad guy, just not the guy for me but in every situation, there is always something that can be learned.  The moral of this little tale is slow and steady wins the race.  If you are in the pursuit of a relationship, don’t put every card you have out on the table right away.  Let a relationship happen and enjoy the getting to know each other part.  Jumping in too quickly makes me wonder if you want to be with me or if you just want to be with someone and I’m not looking to be just someone you settle for.  Soon I will step up to the plate again for the next pitch but right now I might take a minute, step outside of the batter’s box and try to regain my composure.   

“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you playing the game.” – A Cinderella Story