On Saturday I wrote a post about stepping outside of your comfort zone. I was inspired to write that because I was traveling and the beauty of not being in your city is that you can be anyone you want to be. All I know is that for a few days, I didn’t want to be me.
Not that being me is a bad thing; it’s just not the most exciting thing. For the most part, I play things safe. I’m always the responsible one in the group and I’m tired of playing that part. In college, my boyfriend nicknamed me NFA (No Fun Ali) and I have to say that name sucked. I always thought I was fun but lately I’ve realized that sometimes I’m a little too controlled for my own good. Of course I’m 29 and need to be an adult but I think my challenge is really to find a happy medium between the two extremes. I’ve really been trying to find that medium lately and not be so stuck on one side or the other.
This weekend I think this concept got cranked up a notch. Someone went to Texas and even though she looked like me, I’m not really sure who she was. I let go of all my rules and embraced my San Antonio self. Drinking, no problem! Going home early, no way! Getting up the next day to do it all over again, of course! Complaining, not me! In the end, I really don’t know who I was but I know I had a lot of fun and as far as I can tell, the world is still spinning. I know this may not seem like much of an achievement but according to my friend Diana, I’ve been fun 4 times in my life and maybe now I can reached number 5.
Not only did this trip give me a lot of great memories with two wonderful friends, a lot of stories that I’m sure I won’t live down anytime soon, and a whole new view of San Antonio, but I also realized I that I need to make a few more changes in my life to get to where I want to be. Maybe there is something to this idea of reinvention. I love Philadelphia but maybe I don’t like my Philadelphia self or maybe I’m just not meant to be that person right now. I’ve got a lot of food for thought and ultimately it’s going to come down to the big cosmic plan that is set out for my life called fate but I’m ready to roll the dice. I don’t exactly know what that means but I think I might have to make it my April goal to figure out what kind of self I want to be.
“I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.” – Henry Rollins
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