Just Say No

In 5^th grade, I learned how to say no to drugs and peer pressure from Officer Barry and the D.A.R.E. Program.  While I've managed to keep the drugs and peer pressure under control, I definitely could have used his help learning how to say no in other aspects of my life.

Last night, as I approached hour three of a cutting, printing, and assembling gift tags for the giving tree at my church, I couldn’t help but play the phrase “Just Say No” over and over in my head.  In fact, two days ago when I was approached with this project, I had the overwhelming urge to say no.  Unfortunately when I tired, I realized I was not exactly being asked to make these tags but I had already been volunteered to do so.  It’s safe to say I was more than annoyed by this fact, which is part of the reason for yesterday’s I don’t wear a halo post.  Once again I was being expected to do something because I always do the right thing and I’m always there to help.  It’s a reoccurring fact that has been popping up over the past few weeks and I think all the pressure to come through for everyone just got to me. 

So as I make an attempt to change myself and my life, I want to learn to say no.  I always say yes.  I say yes to everything that is asked of me and it’s about time that I realize there is another option.  I can think of plenty of things I would have rather been doing on a Thursday night than sitting around doing arts and crafts.  Now I know that sounds really horrible.  You might be thinking it’s the least I can do for the church and I did it for a good cause and blah, blah, blah.  Well, there are hundreds of people in the parish and I would say I do a good deal more than most of them.  Not to blow myself up or anything but I coach volleyball every spring, I have worked at their carnivals, I have attended many fundraising events, I was even the class rep for my grade for the school reunion and these are only things I’ve done over the past few years (there's over 20 years of involvement).  However, I did the project.  Not with a smile on my face, but it’s done.  It was a commitment and although I did not make it, I was committed.

This still doesn’t change the fact that if I keep saying yes to everything everyone asks of me, I will never have the time to accomplish or devote to the things I want.  Usually I would let something like being volunteered without my consent just roll off my back so that I wouldn’t have to confront anyone but today I stood up for myself.  I told the person who volunteered me that in the future although I’m happy to help, I would like to be asked and there might be times when I say no.  It has nothing to do with me being selfish or not wanting to help, I just can’t do everything.  Someone else has to step up every once in a while.

It felt really good to get that out.  I think I had been feeling that way for awhile, not just with this one incident but it happened to be the situation that broke me.  Today I’m going to start saying no.  No to the things I don’t want to do or no to the things I can’t do.  Of course there will be things that I don’t want to do that I will have to do but if given the option, I want to have the choice to say no.  Hopefully it will stick and I will continue on with that tomorrow and the next day until it becomes comfortable.  I have to learn that just because I say no, I’m not letting people down; I’m just realizing that I can be everything to everyone and that’s ok. 

"You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It's your life." - Ethan Embry