Carpe Diem…In Omnia Paratus

I have a lot of great ideas but most of the time I lack the follow through necessary to make them happen.  It’s always nice to talk about doing this or that but when it comes down to it, most often we put off today what we can do tomorrow.  But what if there isn’t a tomorrow?  I know that sounds dramatic but honestly if we don’t go for things sometimes, we may never get around to them or worse yet, we may never get the chance to. 

Sometimes we find inspiration in the most unlikely of places and for this particular desire to seize the day I credit my brother.  At the beginning of this year, he decided that 2010 would be all about him and his roommate tackling the things they talk about doing but never actually do.  For the last 11 months, I’ve called it his bucket list and mocked it endlessly.  Secretly, I was mocking as a natural defense mechanism because I was envious that I wasn’t that courageous.  Every year on New Years I say that this is going to be “my year”.  Every year on my birthday I say that this is going to be “my year”.  Needless to say I’m still waiting for it to be my year J.  By that I mean the year I finally get my act together or the year that I do all the things I talk about doing but never actually go for.  I recently asked my brother why he felt the need to have a bucket list now and if the process had changed him.  He told me that he wanted to experience things and not just wait around until the “right moment” because why can’t that be right now?  Why can’t it be?  Although in his mind the jury is still out as to whether or not it has changed him, he said he has enjoyed all the exciting adventures he has had this year. 

Now for him, it was the polar bear plunge and skydiving that were on his list but for me I think I want different things.  I’m not afraid of heights like he is so skydiving isn’t going to make a difference to me if I do it or not.   Maybe one day I’ll jump out of plane just to feel the rush but today I want to accomplish other things and conquer my own fears.  Its starts with this blog. 

Since I have started this site, I can now check two things off my list: start a blog and write something for someone other than myself to read. I love writing but the idea of putting anything I write out there in the world to be judged and critiqued scares me.  For me, sharing my words is like being exposed for who I really am and letting everyone see the interworking of my mind.   I promise you that when reading this you will see me more real than maybe you have ever seen me before.  My hope is that by conquering my fear of letting my writing out, that I will also knock down the walls I have built up that prevent me from truly letting people in. 

If you are reading this, I urge you to think about one thing that you’ve always thought about doing and at least make an attempt at making it happen.  It can be anything big or small but just one less thing you will still have on your life to do list. 

I am still forming the rest of my “bucket list” but I am going to give myself one year to push my boundaries and take risks, get over my insecurities and fears, and have the experiences I long for.  So I started this blog on November 12^th, 2010 to document the journey on the road to becoming the me I want to be.  My goal is to see if a year can change your life.  Can 365 days be the exact amount of time necessary to make your world the way you’ve always wanted?  I don’t really know the answer to that but I can safely say I hope so.  We’ll find out on the 365^th day: 11.11.11 (ironic that 11 is my lucky number?)

“People can live a hundred years without really living a minute.  You climb up here with me it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.”  - Gilmore Girls