Lesson Learned From First Love

Tonight I went to watch my eleven year old cousin Maddy play CYO basketball and just being in the gym brought me back to a simpler time, the first time I fell in love.

I was in the 4^th grade and little four foot nothing me decided that she wanted to play basketball.  I don’t even really remember why I decided I wanted to play but I was so adamant that my dad signed me up.  However, way back when, they didn’t have all girl leagues for my age group or at least they didn’t in my area so I had to play in the “coed” league.  Now I use the label coed loosely because all that meant was that one poor girl got stuck on each team with at least 9 boys.  I was that poor girl but it didn’t matter.   It was that season that I fell in love with basketball.  I was awful but I loved it. Over the years I got better and fell deeper and deeper in love with a game.  As I watched Maddy run up and down the court with a smile on her face, I knew she loved it too. 

At one point, she got fouled and when Maddy stood at the foul line to take her two shots, I found myself right there on the line with her.  Two dribbles, one quick spin of the ball, two more dribbles and a brief pause to look at the basket before you release the ball off your finger tips and into the air, hoping to hear the swish of the net as the ball goes through the hoop.  Life for her is easy now.  One day she will reach a point when she will look back and long for the simplicity of these days.  She’ll wish for the ability to go back to a time when everything was decided in four 6 minute quarters.  A time when what you give directly effects the outcome of the game and in the end, win or lose, you shake hands and go your separate ways knowing that there will be another game to play, another chance to for greatness. 

There is something so pure about sports.  It’s just so black and white.  At the end of the day there is a winner and loser.  The better team wins.  They score more touchdowns, make more baskets, or score more goals.  There’s no gray area.  You leave everything you have out on the court or field.  You want to be the best because you have a competitive drive and fire inside of you.  You are just one part of greater whole called a team.   Sure you can complain about refs or bad calls but that’s all irrelevant when it comes to the final outcome.  When time runs out, the scoreboard says everything you need to know.

 The truth is that there is no other time in our lives when things are that simple.  In relationships, you can do and say all the right things but still lose the person you love simply because you aren’t the right one for them.  There’s no black and white answer or score telling you why you weren’t good enough.  In business, you can be the best person for the job but it can be given away to someone else for no better reason than they know the right people.  In sports, if you lose, there is always a reason.  You missed your free throws or threw too many interceptions.  The other team may have out skated you or hit more home runs.  In life, sometimes there aren’t clear cut answers why things happen, they just happen. 

All those years ago, I fell in love with a game but more importantly, I learned a life lesson.  I learned that even though you may not be the best, you should always give it your all and never give up until the last second has ticked off the clock.  The reality is that sometimes we will lose, in life and in sports, but it’s what we do about that loss that will define us.  I think you just have to keep picking yourself up and trying to figure out what it takes to win.  Sure we can quit but the old saying that winners never quit and quitters never win definitely has some truth to it.  If the scoreboard says you lose, you just have work harder to make sure you win next time.  In life, a killer crossover dribble might not make any difference but the idea of working hard to achieve the desired outcome definitely remains true.  Don't be afraid to lose, just be prepared to do what is necessary to win.

"If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems.  You'll be dead a lot." - Dean Smith

"It's not how big you are, it's how big you play." - Author Unknown