CTRL+ALT+DELETE

It’s been almost a week since my last post and it’s definitely been a crazy couple of days but my absence is completely justified.  Sometimes we have to step away from our computers and our lives in general to reboot. 

I made myself promise to do several things when I decided to start this blog.  One of those promises was that I would start 2011 completely baggage free, which is where the whole letting go thing comes in.  I guess you could call it a new year’s resolution of sorts but I think it really goes beyond that.  I want the idea of not holding on to things to be a way of life moving forward and I actually started out really well.  I took the necessary steps I needed to take in order to deal with everything head on and on December 31^st, I really thought that I had released all the skeletons in my closet. 

Last week something, or rather someone I thought I had bottled up and left in 2010 had reappeared and I found myself at a fork in the road.   On one hand, I could have gone down a very familiar path and ended up right back where I started or I could have made the choice to face the issue and deal with it in order to remain on the path I want to stay on for the future. 

It seems like a no brainer but I will be honest, I stumbled a little bit.  I found myself hurting when I thought I would be completely immune.  My friend Amy said it was because I still cared about this “situation”.  She’s right.  I did still care but unlike in the past, this time I didn’t want to.  I had committed to letting go of certain things and this particular issue was one of them but committing to let go means closing all doors, which I did not do.  I had left one door still open for this issue to reenter my life and that was my mistake.  The truth was I really didn’t think it would be a big deal but last week it became one causing me to accidently trip back into all the craziness I had tried so hard to extract from my life. 

However, even though we stumble, we don’t have to fall.  We can catch ourselves.  When trying to let go it’s only natural that there will be some back sliding.  I was fortunate enough that I was able to realize this before I got all bogged down in the drama again.  With very little hesitation, I closed the final door connecting me to this person.  I think subconsciously I wanted to leave one more link available if I never needed it but I realized I will never need it nor should I ever want it.  In our worlds, some people are lucky enough to be in it and others are just taking up space.  There aren’t enough minutes in the day to waste any of them on those who don’t waste even a second on you. 

So this weekend, I took 48 hours, 2880 minutes, or 172,800 seconds and spent them all on me.  Since I had to work the latter part of the week in Orlando, I decided to spend the weekend and have a little mini vacation.  While the Northeast froze, I soaked up some much needed Vitamin D and got the perfect escape I needed to keep me from sliding back into old habits.  It was my version of CTRL+ALT+DELETE.  Now I’m back up and running and in the words of the rapper Drake, “I just hope that you miss me a little when I’m gone”.    J

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn." - Unknown