Make Me Out To Be The Bad Guy

When dealing with people, no one wants to be the bad guy.  Everyone wants to be the hero or beloved but inevitably at some point, we will all be forced to man up and say or do the things that will not necessarily make us very popular.

A few months ago, I was forced to make a decision that needed to be made in regards to my relationship with a person I had known for a very long time.  I will admit that I had been half torn and half avoiding the moment to truth with this person for a long time, maybe even too long, but the time had come to deal with it once and for all.  

The back story is that this guy and I had a relationship a long time ago and the idea of reviving that relationship had come up from occasionally over the years but ultimately, we never ended up bringing the situation back to life.  This particular person should have been perfect for me.  He possessed many of the qualities and attributes that I wanted in a boyfriend but the two of us as a couple just never seemed to feel quite right.  To me, while I enjoyed spending time with him, the girl and guy who had been in that relationship seemed like people we knew in another lifetime.  I did still care about him but I didn’t have stronger feelings than that.  So when asked point blank if I saw us as anything more, I decided it was time to be a big girl and tell him the truth, which was no.

Of course, just as I have the right to feel the way I feel about him, he has the right to react in any way he would like to after hearing the news and in this case, I haven’t heard from him since.  I know that inevitably I will come face to face with him and the aftermath of the choice I made, probably sooner rather than later, but I am confident in my decision.  I want nothing but the best for him but I think it would be unfair to him as well as to myself to pretend that us as a couple is right and I hope that he will see that one day if he hasn’t already.  However, that doesn’t erase the fact that in this situation or at least in his mind, I am the bad guy.

The other day, I found myself facing a similar situation.  While it is not an ex trying to make a comeback this time, it is someone I had a brief past with who is left wondering what if we were something more and maybe we should see where it goes.  The easy thing for me to do is give it a chance, see what happens but my gut is telling me that I know where I’m at with that relationship and it’s just going to lead him on by trying.  Like the movie says, I’m just not that into him so once again, I will have to be the bad guy.

However, when pondering of both of these situations, I am left wondering one thing.  They say that honesty is the best policy but by being honest, I am now considered the worst kind of person.  Some best policy, right?  Personally, if I had either of these situations to do over again, I think I would do it exactly the same way.  Maybe right now I have to be the bad guy to eventually be considered the good guy.  Sure that might seem a bit confusing but one day when both of these people meet someone incredible that they fall in love with, I’ll be nothing more than afterthought but that wouldn’t have been possible if they were wasting their time on me.  So make me out to be the bad guy but hopefully one day they will see that I had the best intensions in mind.

It’s the easy way to be everything to everyone and what they want you to be but sometimes it takes a lot more courage to step up and say the things they might not want to hear.  It takes more heart to be honest when you know that it might be breaking someone else’s in the process. 

“Last one standing is gonna be the last one to blame.  Wait for the smoke to clear, wait for those words to disappear.  Make me out to be the bad guy.” – Tony Lucca, Bad Guy