What Might Have Been...

There are certain things in our lives that will always haunt us no matter how hard we try to let them go.  Whether they are big things or small things, they are the aftermath of a choice gone wrong.  These are our regrets.  I don’t care if you say or think you don’t have any but whether you know it or not, we all have regrets.  Maybe you don’t think about them or wish to go back and change them but at some point in your life, you’ve thought back to a specific moment and wondered what would have happened if you selected a different option.  And of course the ultimate question then becomes, if you had a second chance, would you do it differently?

 Last year, on this day, Roy Halladay stepped onto the pitcher’s mound at Citizen’s Bank Park and made his first ever Major League Baseball playoff appearance.  This was the moment he had waited for for his entire career.  This was the reason he wanted to leave the Toronto Blue Jays organization.  This was what he had become a Philadelphia Phillie for.  However, on October 6, 2010, Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay did much more than just start in his first career playoff game.  On this day a year ago, he wrote his own chapter in the history books when he threw a playoff no hitter in the opening game of the National League Division series against the Cincinnati Reds.  I had tickets to that game.  I turned them down.

One year later, as sit here and think about watching that game on TV, the regret still churns in my stomach.  I let the chance to see a piece of history go simply because it was an early game so I would have had to leave work early to get there which I wasn’t sure I could do and  the tickets were expensive.  Sure I could have used some vacation time or just spent the money but ultimately, I let all the reasons not to go keep me from listening to the one thing that should have out weighted all the rest and that was that I wanted to go. 

Now I know that in the grand scheme of things, missing a baseball game is really not a huge regret but it is something that I would change my decision on if I got the chance to do it all over again.  That is pretty much the reason why when I came up with all the things I wanted to do this year that I included go to a playoff game on my list. I really didn’t care what sport; I just wanted to see a game that meant something more than just another game added to a team’s win or loss column. Earlier in the year, I got to cross that one off when I went to see the Philadelphia Flyers play the Buffalo Sabers in the Stanley Cup playoffs, but while I saw a great game and the experience was incredible, I still would have traded it all in for the chance go back to last October.

This story is one that I’m sure you can all relate to.  Missed opportunities or wrong decisions can haunt us but since life doesn’t have a rewind button, all we can do is accept our choices while secretly hoping that we will one day get another chance to right our wrongs.  Second chances are rare and maybe they don’t really ever correct the mistake we made in the first place but hopefully they can make the sting of regret a little less intense.

Tomorrow is October 7^th, 2011 and the Philadelphia Phillies behind pitcher Roy Halladay, will take the field for the final game of their National League Divisional Series with the St. Louis Cardinals.  The winner of this game will continue on in hopes of being the 2011 Major League Baseball World Champions and the loser will start what will be a long winter vacation.   The game might not end up being a no hitter or a piece of baseball history but as I watch the Phillies play tomorrow, I will definitely be thinking back on that game from a year ago and smile from my seat inside Citizen’s Bank Park because I was not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice J  GO PHILLIES!!!

October is breast cancer awareness month so please make a donation to the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk!  Want to credit your donation to me?  Search for my name as a walker when you click on this link!  Don't know my name?  Make a donation to the walk anyway and show your support for the cause!
 http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=35970

NEW ZEALAND TRIP POST: FTK!

8/30



Sporting the jacket!



When I was packing to leave for New Zealand, I spent a lot of time trying to get everything that was listed on the packing list I received from Habitat for Humanity a few months prior to the trip.  There were several items like work gloves that I had to purchase but other things like sunscreen or work boots that I actually had.  Then there were the items that I could borrow.  I knew that somewhere in my parent’s house was a rain jacket and since I needed one, I called my mom and asked her to look.  The next day I showed up at the house to pick it up and my Penn State THON windbreaker was sitting on a chair waiting for me.  Personally, I never thought I would wear that jacket again but when I put it on this morning, I had no idea how ironic it was that today was the day it was raining and I would wear this particular jacket.



Penn State’s Dance Marathon or THON is a charitable fundraiser devoted to raising money for childhood cancer research and its motto is FTK: FOR THE KIDS.  Now while THON has absolutely nothing to do with my Habitat for Humanity adventure, today it rained so I wore my THON jacket.  It was an awful day to have rain because we were scheduled to take a little walking field trip during lunch.

Down the street from our job site, there was a local elementary school.  We had been promised that at some point over the course of our time in New Zealand that we would visit a school and most of us had been looking forward to it.  When we arrived, we removed our muddy work boots and wet rain gear and left it outside the building. 



Inspirational signs that hang around the grounds of the school.



Once inside the school, we were treated to lunch and a performance by a couple classes of students.  The kids sung two native songs and spent time meeting each of us.  They were so cute as they came up to introduce themselves and ask where we were all from!  We in turn had all donated money to buy them books to be added to their library.

It was a short visit but a very impactful one.  As I put my THON jacket back on before walking back I couldn’t help but think FTK.  I hadn’t really thought of this whole experience in that way before but a lot of what I was doing here was for the kids.  Maybe some of the kids we met today live in the neighborhood where we were working and there were definitely kids moving into the houses that we were building. 

Just like THON is helping fight against childhood cancer in order to give more children the chance to live a normal, healthy life, Habitat is giving children the chance to have a home. It’s gives them the opportunity to have a room to decorate and redecorate as they grow.  It allows them to have a place they will one day refer to as the house they grew up in.  They will play in the back yard, celebrate special occasions over dinner in the kitchen, and watch movies with their parents in the living room.  Overall, today was just another example of the fact that the work I am doing is so much more impactful than I ever could have imagined.

Check out the kids and their preformance for us:

Beware of Vampires

The past week or so has been really difficult for me personally but when life throws you some serious issues, it’s important to know just who you can trust and rely on.  Lucky for me, I have some great people in my life that I can lean on.  However, it’s in times of crisis that you also notice who is not going to step up for you.

Part of my journey this year has really been about setting myself up to succeed.  To do that I had to let go of a lot of things and people I was holding on to.   The demons from past relationships had to be released and the wounds from bad choices and mistakes had to heal.  People that didn’t bring value to my life had to go too.  Overall, I wanted to create an environment, support system, and mind set to be the best version of myself that I can be. 

A few months ago I was reading a book that had a very interesting take on friendships.  This particular book is called The Everygirl’s Guide to Life by Maria Menounos and I started reading it because I liked her as a journalist but I found myself really enjoying her advice as well.  When it comes to friends, Maria points out the type of people you should seek out to have in your life and those that you should eliminate.  She refers to the latter as “vampires”.  Looking back at where I was when I started this journey and where I am currently, I feel like I’ve done really well with letting go of those types of people. Personally, I didn’t think I was holding on to anything or anyone anymore but even though I’m about a million miles from where I started, I realized recently that there were still some lingering “so called friends” that had to be dealt with.

At one point or another we all let vampires into our lives.  These may be the people that take advantage of us.  They can be the type of friends that take while never or rarely giving anything back in return.  They might even pick and choose when they want to be friends with you based on when it is convenient for them.  They are ones that just assume no matter how little effort they put forth, you will always be friends just because, but it’s that sub-par effort that always leaves you feeling like a second class friend.  These are people to avoid. 

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that life is too short to live it any other way then how you want to.  I want to spend my time appreciating the people that are there for me and who I am fortunate enough to call friends rather than stress about those who don’t seem to care very much about having me in their life.  It’s not a mean thing or ill will; sometimes it’s just seeing things for what they really are instead of imagining things that aren’t there.  Unlike family, friends are chosen and it’s a choice that we shouldn’t take lightly.  Friends should be the people you know you can lean on through the bad times and who will be by your side to enjoy the good times with you. 

Instead of quotes, this month I am putting a link to the page for the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. Make a donation to help fight against this terrible disease and get your pink on! 
Want to credit your donation to me?  Search for my name as a walker when you click on this link!  Don't know my name?  Make a donation to the walk anyway and show your support for the cause!
 http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=35970

Real Men Wear Pink

Real Men Wear Pink

Yesterday, I spent the day with my Uncle John and I was inspired to write a little bit about the men behind the women who fight against breast cancer.

Throughout my aunt’s battle with breast cancer, my uncle stood by her side going above and beyond to make sure that she was taken care of.  I fully believe that it was his care and attention to detail that allowed her to live as long as she did with this disease.  He isn’t afraid to wear pink.  Are you?

Behind every great woman is a man who supports her.  Maybe he is the man who takes her to treatments or makes sure she takes her medication.  He might be the man who drives her to her doctor’s appointments or the one who takes care of her when she is in the hospital.  He could be the one buying her the wig when she loses her hair, holding her hair back when the treatments make her sick, or listening to her when she is scared.  No matter what he is doing, he is a real man and real men wear PINK!

Instead of quotes, this month I am putting a link to the page for the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. Make a donation to help fight against this terrible disease and get your pink on!  Want to credit your donation to me?  Search for my name as a walker when you click on this link!  Don'the know my name?  Make a donation to walk anyway and show your support for the cause!
 http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=35970

NEW ZEALAND TRIP POST: The Death House

8/29

Well it’s Monday which means that the fun and games aspect of New Zealand life is over and it’s back to work again.  Typically, in my everyday life I find Monday’s to be tough days to get up and get going but this morning I found myself ready to get back to the job site and tackle my next task, that was until I found out what exactly it was.

As soon as our morning meeting ended, everyone started grabbing their stuff and heading toward the parking lot to get in the vans.  Before I could make my way out to the parking lot, my leader John pulled me aside to let me know that I would be going to be working with him today.  My heart sank.



Working on the remodel project



For the majority of the last week, my two leaders had been working on separate houses. Rich had been leading our group on the work site while John had been taking groups of 4 or 5 people off with him to another project house.  This particular project was a remodel job that we were working on and each day as the group came back, you would have thought that they had gone off to war the way they were returning.  They had even begun calling it the death house.  I’ll spare you all the horror stories and just say the house was not exactly sanitary and leave it at that, even though that may be putting it way beyond nicely.

Needless to say, I was less than thrilled to have this assignment and when I arrived at the project house, I realized that the descriptions people were giving were pretty dead on accurate.  Today couldn’t go by quick enough but it really made me think that I am extremely lucky to live the way that I do because not everyone is as fortunate.  Sometimes we take a lot of what we have for granted.  We expect it to be a certain way because we are used to it but we don’t often consider the alternatives.  What happens if it was all gone tomorrow?

Hopefully you will never have to know what that is like but that doesn’t give us the right to take anything we have for granted.  I urge you all to look at your homes or your lives and find the greatness in them.  Be thankful for those things.  Never forget that we are not entitled to these things but rather that we are fortunate enough to have them. 

Get Your Pink On

Welcome to October!  This month my blog is getting a little makeover.  Life or so they tell me is going pink because October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so it’s time to get your pink on! 

The scariest thing in the world is nothing more than a six letter word: CANCER.  Every October, we put all our energy and effort into fighting the powerful killer, breast cancer.  It is the second most common form of cancer found in women behind skin cancer and the second most common cancer death for women after lung cancer.  Approximately, 1 in every 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime.  As I sit here and look at a picture of my college friends, I count 9 women so according to that statistic; one of us is more than likely going to have to battle breast cancer at some point.

For me, this is a topic that hits very close to home.  I have a family history of breast cancer on both sides of my family which increases my chances of being diagnosed with this disease at some point during my life.  So for my own selfish purposes, I believe that we should always be striving to find a cure for breast cancer.  Maybe you don’t have a family history but if you are a woman or have a sister, wife, girlfriend, or just a female friend in your life, there will always be a chance that she will come face to face with breast cancer. 

So this month, I encourage you do something to get involved in the fight to end breast cancer.  I will be raising money and walking in the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in New Jersey in memory of my Aunt Gale who lost her battle with breast cancer 3 years ago.  What are you going to do?   GET YOUR PINK ON!!!

“Every woman needs to know the facts. And the fact is, when it comes to breast cancer, every woman is at risk.”  -Debbie Wasserman Schultz

NEW ZEALAND TRIP POST: Pleasantly Surprised

8/28

Today was an interesting day. It is Sunday and today we were given the chance to do anything we really wanted to do. So what do you do in a foreign country when left to your own devices?

When I was preparing to come to Auckland, I purposely decided that I wasn’t going to learn a lot about the area prior to arriving. Since most of my trip was being planned through Habitat, I didn’t have any idea what all I would have time to do so I didn’t want to get my hopes up by creating a wish list of things I wanted to see only to find that I didn’t have the time to see them. Plus, I always have a plan so this time I wanted to just enjoy my time

there without overanalyzing everything or plotting my every move. I was going to go with the flow.

Well when my “free day” arrived, there were a lot of great options that people came up with. A group of very adventurous girls decided to climb a bridge and jump off it. New Zealand is known for Bungee jumping so I guess when in Rome (or in this case

New Zealand) do as the locals do. Sure I could have taken the plunge off the bridge but the truth is I have absolutely no desire to strap an elastic cord to my ankles and throw myself off a ledge. I’m not scared or intimated, it’s just not my thing but I’m very proud of the girls who did it! Others decided to take a sailboat out for a sailing tour because another thing that New Zealand is known for is sailing and their long standing involvement in the America’s Cup boating competition. However, because I was on a boat the day before, going on another cruise sounded fun but I wanted to do something else while I was there besides just sail around the harbor. Personally, I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do but ultimately neither of those ideas sounded like the right option for me.

So I decided that I just wanted to see the city. Really walk around and explore it. I was completely prepared to do this on my own but I ended up with an unlikely travel buddy. The youngest member of my team was a 19 year old sophomore in college. Typically he found himself hanging around with the younger girls in our group but when they all decided to make the big jump; he decided that he wasn’t ready to conquer his fear of heights quite yet. To be honest, I was a little hesitant to agree to spend the afternoon with this boy. Part of me felt badly for him that he was left out but the other part of me knew that with the way he can act, my day could be a very long one if I spent it with him. He was a difficult kid and I spent the whole week trying to break through the harsh exterior he put forth with

 very little success. He was tough to crack! He was very sarcastic and at times boarding on mean. Definitely oppositional when it came to authority and completely empathetic towards a lot of the things we were doing on this trip. Most people found him to be a real brat but for some reason I believed that there was something more to him and he just needed someone to give him a chance. So I trusted my gut instinct and decided that some company would be nice.

At the end of the day, I have to say this may have been my best day on this trip so far. As we walked around the city, I realized I was spending time with a different person than the one I thought I knew. Throughout the week it was clear to everyone that this boy was a know it all but when we went to Auckland’s Maritime Museum I was surprised just how intelligent he actually was. I learned a lot of about the history of the country and its people from him. I was definitely impressed at how he genuinely wanted to read the museums signs and expand his knowledge base on the establishment of New Zealand and its history in sailing. Next we went to see the University of Auckland because as a student at a rural university, he wanted to see what a city school was like. We had driven past the university the day before on the bus and I definitely

The end of a pretty great Sunday Funday

 wanted to check it out too. I liked the fact that we had similar experiences attending large rural schools so we were able to compare and contrast. After that we just walked around the city. We ventured down little streets and found hidden bars, cafes and shops to stop in. The whole time he talked to me about his life and began to let down the impenetrable walls that he kept his true personality hidden behind. I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed just listening to him and exploring the city with him.

For the whole year, I’ve had this idea of unexpected adventures driving me. Sometimes that means doing something extreme or challenging what you think you are capable of but it can also be the simplest of things. All you have to discover something you didn’t expect and today I did.