Over the last few weeks I’ve been on a complete high. My self confidence was at an all time level, everything in my life was clicking, and great things were happening all around me. Pretty much life was good. However, as Newton teaches us, what goes up, must come down and within just a few seconds, everything I had worked for and everything I had built up, seemed to come crashing down around me.
It’s a common saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. When you’re young, you might need to hear that to rise above it but the real truth is that words do hurt. Maybe you won’t have any cuts or broken bones or physical bleeding from someone saying something about you but sometimes the emotional scars and bruises that words leave behind are even harder to deal with. Cuts and broken bones hurt but eventually heal. Emotional pain lasts much longer. You can’t just kiss it and make it all better.
A few years ago, I got myself in a relationship where I was beaten down emotionally over and over until the I didn’t even feel like myself anymore but for some reason I couldn’t walk away. I was so driven to prove that the image this person had of me wasn’t true but no matter how hard I tried to make him see that, he just kept on putting me down until I eventually believed that maybe he was right. I was pretty much emotionally cutting myself over and over, addicted to the pain. Eventually, I came to the realization that this person wasn’t right and the only power he had over me was the power I allowed him to have so I decided to start healing and stop hurting.
Since I’ve started this blog, you seen my journey to get back to the me I was and the me I wanted to be and healing from that relationship was a huge part of what I needed to do to feel like myself again. Learning that I wasn’t the person he saw me as and vowing to never let anyone make me feel like that again were big steps toward getting to where I am now. The other week someone said something that sent me spiraling back to that time in life and everything just seemed to rise up in my stomach like emotional vomit. I wanted to unhear what I had heard. I wanted to rewind the tape of my life back a few seconds so that I could avoid the whole situation. Eventually I just wanted to cry.
But the major difference between me then and me now, is that I am not that same person. I am so much stronger now that I have ever been in my life and I am going to hold myself to my promise that no one will ever be able to bring me down, no matter what they say. Sure, I could spend my time trying to prove to this person that they are wrong about me I don't need to prove anything to anyone. Love me or hate me that's for you to decide but I'm completely happy with who I am and I think my opinion of myself is dead on. Again, the only power people have over us is the power that we give them. Letting their opinions get to us or send us into emotional turmoil isn’t worth it.
People are going to say things. Sometimes they will pay you compliments and sometimes they will give you criticism but ultimately it’s all just their opinions. We can choose to let them matter or let them go. Sure once someone puts an idea out into the world, it’s hard to forget it, especially if it’s hurtful but if you don’t believe it to be true, then why are you letting matter? I know who I am and that is the only opinion that matters.
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
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