Right vs. Right for Me

I thought today I would take a little break from my retroactive posting and talk a little bit about what’s been going on since I’ve been back from my escape of reality.  I will continue to tell you about my incredible experience in New Zealand but life goes on, no matter how long of a trip you take away from it.

Since I’ve been back, I’ve felt like a new version of me but sometimes the same old problems follow you everywhere.  Recently, I’ve come face to face with a crossroads decision that feels a little like déjà vu.  As I approach the fork in the road, I can go one way and do what’s right or I can go down the other path and do what I feel is right for me even if it doesn’t always line up with the “right decision”.  Tough choice huh?   

Honestly, what I want to do is follow what I feel is right for me but in the end I can’t help but shake the unavoidable truth that if you have do something wrong to get what you want, is it ever really worth it?  I guess you could say I’m showing a little maturity in my old age because I’m going to answer no.  The truth is that 99% of the time our lives are complicated.  Answers come in multiple choice format and the paths we should take are unclear but then there is that 1% of the time where everything is so black and white in front us, we just don’t always want to see it. 

I could explain my current situation further but the specifics are rather irrelevant to the point I’m trying to make.  All that matters is that I can get what I want but that means straddling the fine line between integrity and foolish pride while standing on the what is ultimately the wrong side of life.  If you have to do something wrong to get what you want it’s not worth it and honestly, it might never really be yours in the end.

Carrie Bradshaw once said that maybe it is our mistakes that make our fate but I can’t help but think that maybe our mistakes can break it as well.  If Eve hadn’t eaten the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, then maybe she and Adam would have had a different ending.  Sure the wrong choices are tempting but maybe if we make the right ones; something better will come our way.  And on the flip side of that if we make the wrong ones, maybe we will miss out on that something better that is waiting for us down the line.  For now I’m going to keep my moral compass pointing north and hope that the right road leads me to where I want to go.

"Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right." - Mario Cuomo