Personally, I would never consider myself impressive. If you haven’t gotten the picture already, I consider myself a little behind the 8 ball most of the time, kind of confused by which way is up and pretty much driven to go somewhere but still waiting for the GPS to kick in and tell me exactly how to get there. Recently, I started to see that maybe I’m making some things happen for myself without even really knowing it.
There’s a line in the Gavin DeGraw song Meaning that says, “Mounting, the trail, but you’ve got it in sight, sometimes the only way is jumping, I hope you’re not afraid of heights.” I heard this song for the first time the other day and since then this line has been playing over and over in my head. I think this sums up what I’ve been doing for the past year. For the first time in my life, I’m jumping and I’m not looking down before I do it. Lately, I’ve written a lot of posts about the frustration I’ve felt over not really seeing the immediate results of this little social project but every once in a while there comes a moment where it all becomes clear.
The other day, I went out for drinks with an old friend. I’ve known this person for a very long time and I guess I would say that he should know me pretty well by now. Since we hadn’t seen each other in a long time, we were just getting together to catch up but as the conversation continued on and I told him what I was up to, I started to see that he was not expecting to hear what he was hearing. As I discussed my life and the words came out of my mouth, I began to realize just how much I really was doing this year. I have been pushing myself, I am challenging myself, and I’m working on making things happen.
As I looked into his eyes, I knew he had come to the same conclusion on me that I had that evening. I wasn’t the same girl I was when I was 18. I wasn’t the same person I was when I was 22 or 24 or 26. Who I am now is someone on the road to who I am meant to become and that is pretty impressive. I have an idea of what I want but I by no means have everything figured out and I’m definitely not always sure how to get there but I’m on a path. The trail may not always be clearly defined but I am climbing the mountains instead of staring at them, intimidated by their vastness. I’m walking without quitting because I’m tired. And if things get to a point where the only way to keep going is by jumping, then I’m just hoping the landing isn’t too rough.
"Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while other wonder what has happened." - Proverb
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